Counselling relation

My view on the counselling relation


This article will be a bit different than what you can see on my site. Because is subjective in its entirety. It presents my view on the work that is done in my private practice and my opinion about the collaboration between clients and me.

Therapy or counselling can be one of the most intimate act one can have in a lifetime. On the couch (or behind the screen) sits a person (or persons) who shares some of the most hidden, personal thoughts, emotions and experiences. Coming with a heavy heart, stuck in a situation, not being able to see the light, prisoners of own feelings or thoughts, familiar with unhealthy or dysfunctional patterns of thinking or behaviors, the search for solutions, answers and soothing is often the primary goal.

That is why, beyond the deontological code, I hold sacred each sharing that is entrusted with me and every time I get to listen to the beautiful mind sitting in front, it humbles me more as, even though there is a structure and a plan for each case, the individual experience depicts more than the words from the books.

Taking a step forward, reaching out to a mental health professional and willing to change are driven by courage and don’t come easy. They require the acknowledgement of needing support, confronting the fears, correcting damaging perspectives or conducts.

Having said that, getting mental health support is a journey that can sometimes feel uncomfortable, irritating even quite frustrating, but developing in a safe, secure and non-judgmental frame. Because even if one finds understanding, empathy and validation from their counsellor, the aim is also to face the unhealthy mechanisms or strategies and their consequences, find solutions and create more adaptive, beneficial, functional “modus operandi”. That is why the connection between the counsellor and the client/patient is of utmost importance. And is ok if the “click” doesn’t happen. It is essential that the person in need for help finds the most suitable approach, presence, way of working from a counsellor. To somehow feel comfortable with the discomfort of unveiled truths.

Finding and getting the appropriate assistance can be challenging. But once “the match” is created, on a pavement of trust, one can overcome difficult periods, get an illuminating insight over self, gain tools to “deal with life” and develop self-acceptance. Which, in my view, are lifetime achievements, enriching one’s existence and wellbeing.

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